Coming Home: An Independent Self

Self-Realized Leadership is exactly what it sounds like: leadership grounded in a realization of self.

In psychology, self-realization is often conflated with self-actualization - the idea that, once our basic needs are met (physiology, safety, belonging, esteem), we can climb Maslow’s hierarchy to fulfil our potential through creative expression, mastery and achievement.

In that framing, self-actualization is measured by external attainment: career success, Olympic medals, bestselling books, wealth, innovation, acclaim. If you’re achieving at that level, you’re seen as self-actualizing. And if you're not, you’re either striving to actualize, or somewhere on the path to it… but you’re not actually actualized.

Self-Realized Leadership begins with an altogether different premise: That the self we seek to realize is already whole, entirely positive in nature… and available now. It is not earned or validated through attainment, because it exists prior to and independent of that attainment. 

Yet whilst independent of attainment, it is at the same time the most effective, rewarding, and enjoyable place from which to pursue those things we wish to attain.

In the pursuit of ambitious agendas in high intensity environments, this is an important distinction to make.

Self as the Source of Fulfillment

It is also a critical shift, because the world tends to have it wired the other way around. We’re conditioned to believe: if I can achieve X, then I will feel Y.
“If I become CEO, I’ll feel fulfilled.”
“If I find a partner, I’ll feel loved.”
“If I lose weight, I’ll feel confident.”
“If I buy the house, I’ll feel secure.”

But in the framing of Self-Realized Leadership, and in my work with leaders, there is a greater reality: who you are is already fulfilled, already loved, already confident, already secure. The opportunity is to realize this and lead from that realization of self, rather than seeking that self in what you can achieve.

Of course, being human, in all kinds of conscious and unconscious ways, we find ourselves disconnected from or doubting this greater reality of who we are, and so we double down in pursuit of attainment, believing that attainment will bring us the experiences of fulfillment we so want to have.

This is not to say we shouldn’t have ambitious goals. Surely we do, in all aspects of our personal and professional lives. These goals are deeply meaningful to us, and we can gain tremendous satisfaction in both pursuing and achieving them.

Yet our fulfillment cannot ultimately be found in their attainment, because the experience of self that we seek exists within us. When we look for it elsewhere, we’re sure to be disappointed and, moreover, less than our most effective in pursuit of those agendas.

Self as the Source of Meaning

Consider this for a moment:

Think of something you’re currently highly motivated to achieve. Be specific. What is one deeply desired goal you hold right now?

Now ask yourself: What do I believe I’ll feel once I’ve achieved it? What experience of self am I hoping to have: Fulfillment? Creativity? Worthiness? Loved? Connected? Powerful? Secure? Peaceful? 

Take a moment to consider the experience you hope to have. Whatever feeling you’ve identified, that experience of self is what gives your goal meaning.

At its deepest level, it’s not the goal itself that motivates you, it’s the experience of self that you hope to gain: I am fulfilled. I am creative. I am loved. I am free. I am secure. I am at peace etc

Put another way, if you knew you could achieve the goal but that it would not deliver that experience, how meaningful would it really be for you?

This is a key insight. Meaning, and thus motivation, is derived from a positive experience of self.

As a leader, when you operate from this realization, you create an opportunity to elevate in your role, become more effective and increase the positive impact you have on those around you.

Coming Home

The impetus to fulfill self and derive meaning through our attainment can be a powerful motivator, and many high achievers will correctly identify this as a significant factor of their success.

Yet they will also typically arrive at a point where they identify that impetus as a limiting rather than fulfilling factor, and at that point they may be smart enough to seek a different way.

That different way is the realization that these experiences of self are readily available to us here and now, because the greater reality of who we are is already present.

Rumi said: "Everything you seek is already within you.” For my part, this discovery is an ongoing revelation. As I re-attune to the greater reality within me, I get the profound sense that “I am already home”, and I’m reminded of the old adage that, in the pursuit of our fulfillment, when we finally arrive we discover we had never left home. 

The challenge is that we’ve tended to forget how to re-attune to that self, and so we seek for it outside of ourselves where it can never truly be found. This leads to all manner of ineffective and less than optimal behaviours. For leaders operating in intense environments with demanding strategic agendas, this can become a significant limitation to what’s possible.

Self-Realized Leadership offers a framework that helps leaders re-locate and lead from that greater positive reality of who they are. Far from losing your ambition, when you operate from that place your leadership becomes more impactful, your decision-making becomes clearer and your presence more empowering to those around you. And crucially, you re-connect to the joy of leadership.

In the coming blogs, I’ll continue to share more of the principles and practices that underpin this approach and how they’re transforming leadership at the highest levels.

I invite you to walk this path home with me.

Sam Wigan

Founder, Self-Realized Leadership.